Today is the 12th anniversary of our mother's death. November 14, 2001.
She died in the hospital after six weeks of us not knowing whether she would live or die. Sort of like Hell I think.
It was right after 9/11 and I remember sitting in the emergency after we brought her in, and watching the TV in the waiting room there. The Americans were bombing Afghanistan. It was all surreal.
After listening to Fr. Charles Orchard's homily on Monday about forgiveness, I knew I needed to forgive my mother's doctor for my mother's death. I still haven't done this, even after these 12 years. It seems so very very hard to do so.
On Tuesday I spoke with my spiritual director about it. He said I should bring my feelings to God so he can help me deal with them. And to pray. I need to forgive the doctor. For my sake. I will do my best. But crap it's hard. It would be so nice to let the feelings go.
We miss you Mommy. We love you.
(Fr. Charles homily on forgiveness)